back at home where we belong

the story of a lady and a young woman

on the move, again

Filed under: Emak, Emak-General | Tags: | July 19th, 2009


after 9 struggling months in manado . . .

yes! me and cemara are on the move again . . .

bogor, we are coming home ! . . .

i will miss a few good friends that i made . . .

till we meet again, dear friends

usually i always miss the place i have lived before . . .

unfortunately not you, manado . . .


Filed under: Deep inside | Tags: | April 24th, 2009


she needs the chains to break
free her from the hardship
trapped in the shadows,
cold from the turmoils
her dreams crashed and burned
nothing else to pursue
she longs for fresh air
a steady shoulder to cry on
make her whole again

a poem by my darling daughter, maya antonio.
the photo by her mother.
taken in yangon, on my last day in myanmar,
after spending 5 years in that beautiful country
before headed to vietnam.
april 2007

thank you for the beautiful moments on my last day in myanmar.

surat untuk anakku

Filed under: Deep inside | Tags: | April 13th, 2009

cemara anakku,

setiap hari kamu selalu membanggakan, nak
ada saja hal-hal baru yang membuat ibumu tersenyum
bersyukur, bersyukur dan bersyukur
dari hari ke hari

tahun ini usiamu akan menginjak angka 15
waktu berlalu bak hembusan angin
begitu cepatnya kah waktu berlalu ?

rasanya baru kemarin kamu masih di pangkuanku
menyusui sambil memandangi wajah cantikmu, nak
mengagumi gerakan manis jari-jari mungilmu
berbicara tanpa suara dengan pandangan matamu
yang memberi jutaan makna

nak, ibumu sedang gundah
melihat senyummu setiap hari
sudah cukup menjadi obat penawar kegundahan hati ini
tetaplah menjadi kebanggaanku, nak

ingatlah selalu bisikan
kata cintaku di telingamu . . .

darling, i love you …..

– – –
gorgeous daughter,
i know you have to open your dictionary
to find the meaning of word ‘gundah’
go and do it, gorgeous
i love you . . .

Let go

Filed under: Around Mandalay, Emak, Emak-General | Tags: | April 7th, 2009
another poem
by cemara ‘maya’ antonio, my daughter
keep it up, darling

– – – – –


photo by momma syl, taken at bunaken

Let Go

Sometimes you just have to do it
Let the balloons float away from your hands
There’s a reason why our eyes are in the front
Don’t stay and let the wheels noisily spin
Only messy stains will remain
And it will lead you nowhere
Some things can’t be undone
And we tend to linger around them
Weep and watch as time passes by

But what I mean to say now is,
If you really love him,
Come to your senses,
Let him be happy
That’s what he would want
Free him from your grasp
It’s hard to do so I know
But it’s for the best
Fulfill your life like you know you want to
And just let go

by cemara ‘maya’ antonio


Filed under: Around Mandalay, Emak, Emak-General | Tags: | February 19th, 2009
a poem by cemara ‘maya’ antonio, my daughter
keep on writing dear darling daughter
be always my special one

– – – – –

photo by momma syl
a front view of where we live


you pulled me up from the ashes
you offered me ease
i clung to your presence
time and time we acknowledged
up til’ one time
it all just seemed different
you take no account that I was there
they scrawled over your lips
denounce the lies
what did I ever do,
to this day i still have no clue
you crippled me badly
it was all a jape
it’s amazing that you build me up
then propel me back to the ground
time has been good on my behalf
but i’ll never pay heed to your abandonment
i was left behind,
but i won’t be,
ever again.

by cemara ‘maya’ antonio